There are so many people broken and hurting, and much as I want to, much as I try, I can't mend them because I'm broken myself. Most particularly I can't mend my daughters and they can't mend me. And I couldn't mend my husband - I have never known anyone so distraught in my whole life. I don't even know if I eased his pain at all. I know he didn't ease mine. You would have thought that two people who loved each other so much could have helped each other, but you would be wrong.
You can't help because you hurt too much yourself and you know that he is going through the same and you think your heart will break. But it doesn't. You break, but hearts don't break. You wish they would, but they don't. And you cry and cry and cry and those tears wash away nothing. It's all still there. It will always be there. And you try to hide the sadness in your eyes and you think you succeed and then your daughter catches you unawares and you know she's seen it because she tells you. She's seen what you try to hide from her, from everyone.
