EvilMomLady Looks at Life and Grief

In response to: "I Don't Understand" 586 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

I'm really glad :yes: more…

In response to: "I Don't Understand" 586 days old
by subville [Member]

Its ok, it brought me here (where I'm at now)

and I'm much much happier now :D more…

In response to: "I Don't Understand" 586 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

I'm so sorry.

XXX more…

In response to: "I Don't Understand" 586 days old
by subville [Member]

Not from my husband, although he did just let me get on with it. I phoned from Scotland during the fortnight after it (I was there for 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after) in need of comfort, he passed the phone to Mini (who was 7 at the time) - I could hear him shouting //"Yes!"// and punching the air. He couldn't be bothered chatting cos he was play more…

In response to: "I Don't Understand" 586 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

Yes, anything goes for the person or persons grieving, and this is perfectly understandable, but that family and friends turn away or don't understand, is just awful.

I was lucky really in that when my son and later my husband died I received a lot of support.

There were those who did act in a hurtful way (that is if I'd more…

In response to: "I Don't Understand" 587 days old
by subville [Member]

I agree. Pretty much //anything// goes when you're in the depths of grief. xx more…

In response to: "Stars, Beautiful and Shining" 600 days old
by deleted user [Visitor]

:( big hugs

sat reading and you made me think a lot x more…

In response to: "Eight Years Ago" 601 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

It is actually impossible to imagine how you would feel on the death of your child. The difference between how I thought I would feel and how I actually felt is immense. I knew I would be devastated though - and I was.

I suppose you're right about the adults, but some of them really were quite insensitive. Of course, there were othe more…

In response to: "Eight Years Ago" 601 days old
by subville [Member]

I have re-lived my mum's death so many times. It haunted me for a long long time. But I don't think I could ever imagine what you must feel like. Once I thought I could, but as years go by I realise the depth of emotion that surrounds death more and more. Those adults could never deal with it. They're only too aware of the pain and confusion, I thi more…

In response to: "*" 657 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

Dear Mary,

By the time I spotted that you had commented on this post, you had disappeared from the bloging community, and so I held off from replying, and I shouldn't have done, for maybe you still hang around here and you don't know how much I appreciate your good heart and good advice.

You are right, I shouldn't b more…

In response to: "The Last Video Tape" 737 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

Thank you xx more…

In response to: "*" 818 days old
by Mary Contrary [Visitor]

I was thinking a little bit more - that the 'positive' word is itself, far too hard and tough at times. Maybe it is better to be another word, according to the circumstances of the day or time. Because we can't be positive all the time anyway - I mean how can one be positive when a car has just run over one's foot? (Although I suspect we can be pos more…

In response to: "*" 818 days old
by Mary Contrary [Visitor]

Do you think it has anything to do with using their energy? Maybe you have to only use your energy?

If you looked into a mirror and saw your husbands reflection - and you used that reflection to hopefully carry you through the day ( because he was smiling and looked happy for you)- and you used the look on his face as the motivation f more…

In response to: "The Last Video Tape" 878 days old
by subville [Member]

**X** more…

In response to: "Broken and Hurting" 880 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

Thank you, Isadora. I think it helps to share such things. I know it helps me and I believe it helps others (who may not have experienced it) to understand the grief. I know it helps me when I read how other people cope with difficult periods in their lives. more…

In response to: "Broken and Hurting" 922 days old
by isadora101 [Member]

I didn't know this was one of your blogs. So touching that you share your sorrow
love Isadora Xx more…

In response to: "Memories making me happy" 994 days old
by playwrite27 [Member]

That's nice. I do that as well, sometimes. A smile keeps us healthy. more…

In response to: "A Film About Grief" 1003 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

It is. Thank you. more…

In response to: "A Film About Grief" 1018 days old
by skip2468 [Member]

Probably the best therapy that you could have chosen.

Some relief is essential. more…

In response to: "A Film About Grief" 1059 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

I do try to keep away from the edge, but sometimes it's very welcoming, but falling in would only solve the problem of my sorrow whilst making more for my daughters.

Yes, the runny nose - not very attractive. I think I'll just not look in the mirror.:yes: I won't see the red eyes then either. more…

In response to: "A Film About Grief" 1059 days old
by mad-poet [Member]

stay away from the edge then you cant fall in,dont cry please it only makes youre nose run,now look in the miror at that runny nose more…

In response to: "At last, An Answer" 1138 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

And you will always have mine.xx more…

In response to: "At last, An Answer" 1138 days old
by lyndlj [Member]

You will always have thatx more…

In response to: "At last, An Answer" 1138 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

Thank you, Lynd. I do feel as though I'm moving forward. Just couldn't say what happened to my son before (except to people I knew). Sorry I couldn't tell you before. The Stephen Fry programme was just the catalyst I needed. Thank you so much for your support. more…

In response to: "At last, An Answer" 1138 days old
by lyndlj [Member]

No it didn't falling out with the family did that.
Dont apologise for expressing your feelings, it is a good thing. more…

In response to: "At last, An Answer" 1139 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

Yes, I do know what your mean - despite all logic it is those "just sometimes" that really get to us. I'm really sorry if my post tonight has upset you, made you think about your losses.
Hugs x more…

In response to: "At last, An Answer" 1139 days old
by lyndlj [Member]

Deep down I know that,just sometimes, but you know what I mean.
Thanksx more…

In response to: "At last, An Answer" 1139 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

You didn't because you couldn't. You did everything you could do, and you acted with great bravery. In different circumstances we both did what we could; it just wasn't enough, but it wasn't your fault, and it wasn't my fault. And our children know that. more…

In response to: "At last, An Answer" 1139 days old
by lyndlj [Member]

But I didn't protect them, when it came down to it,in the end I couldn't protect them. Thats the hardest thing of all. more…

In response to: "At last, An Answer" 1139 days old
by evilmomlady [Member]

Don't worry, Lynd, they aren't 'what ifs' where I blame myself. I know I did everything I could, with the knowledge and insight I had at the time, to help him and I know he appreciated everything I did, which is comforting. If I had more knowledge about what was going on, I could have done more, but I didn't, so I don't beat myself up about it. more…